Welcome to an Infinite Game
In life, we often have the opportunity to play finite or infinite games. Most people do not think about life in terms of finite or infinite games, but I do. There is a very simple reason why I think about life in those terms, and that reason is expansion.
I grew up in a home where every event was catastrophized to the nth degree. Behind every corner, disaster lurked and we were more often than not, living life on high alert. Being alive was scary. As I grew up, I observed the impact and limits of this finite and contractive thinking. I am still unwinding it’s tendrils from the neural networks of my consciousness. If you are like me, and moving away from that limited thinking, then you are in the right place. Settle in while I tell a new story. A story about expansion. There are multiple pieces to this story that I am about to relate, so settle in with a mug of tea, a cozy blanket, and enjoy.
The first piece came through a long and mind blowing immersion in the teachings of Abraham Hicks. I had already been exploring the question “how do I maintain my center when the world feels like it is collapsing around me”. The teachings of Abraham took that question to a new level and it became “how do I maintain a sense of joy and play when I am going through less than desirable circumstances and experiences” This idea that we can maintain our sense of imagination and creativity in the midst of challenging periods hints at a way of life that is attractive. It calls to me and I can feel that I am close, that I have tastes of it from time to time.
I can sense that I am more stable and solid then I used to be. Challenging circumstances take me on less of a ride then they used to. I have more imagination, more grace, and more flow than ever before.
During a session with a client a few months ago we discovered an image that powerfully communicated the truth of this concept to me. It revolved around the central figure of the phoenix, to which anyone who has undergone a lifetime of growth and transformation can easily relate. The essence of the phoenix is simple, we experience some sort of turbulence in our lives. Turbulence often signals an ending, and endings precede beginnings. In the space between where one thing ends and another begins is chaos. Collapse, grey space, dissolution of the self. Often for me, these periods of transition feel like I have completely disappeared. I lose touch with who I am, what I like, and who I like to do it with. Out of the chaos, the phoenix arises, and a new life is created from the ashes of what came before.
What I have noticed in my own life is that when I go through a transformation, there is a period of expanding into the new space that I have created. At first it is uncomfortable, and slowly, over time, I adapt and become comfortable. Then an awareness creeps in and a new desire begins to take shape. A new vision emerges and a longing to be somewhere else arises. And so the cycle begins again.
During times where I have created something and expanded into it, the desire to be somewhere new is inevitably stoked. I then begin the process of burning the new creation to the ground. As I sift through what often feels like the wreckage of my life, a new consciousness begins to take hold, and out of the ashes, the phoenix will rise. Now all of this is pretty standard so far, the new twist that emerged recently was simply this…. what happens if, when I become secure in the knowledge that the phoenix must rise. Does it matter if everything burns?
What does this mean? Does it mean that I do not care or invest into the world around me? Certainly not! Does it mean that I am deliberately destroying the world around me to witness the rise of the phoenix? Absolutely not!! So what does it mean? My working conclusion in this moment is simply this; life will continue to bring uncertain and trying times into my lived experience. The valley of the shadow of death. The long dark tea time of the soul. When these trying times inevitably come my way, how I rise to meet them defines the experience. In fact how I meet these experiences is more definitive than what the experience contains. If I am able to live in the certainty of the process, a certain magical experience pervades. Have you, like I have experienced this process of rising from the ashes more times than you care to count. If you have, there is a certain advantage that comes from countless rebirth experiences. The advantage is simple.
Over time, the process of death and rebirth makes itself known. As the death and rebirth process becomes integrated, it also becomes trusted. As I have observed, interesting things happen. When I am in the middle of a crisis now, I am sometimes able to trust that the phoenix will rise. In those moments, my imagination opens and I discover a layer of creativity that was not accessible before. This is the magic of knowing that “this too shall pass” and “the phoenix will rise again!”
The next piece that layers nicely into the phoenix analogy is a fun and simple question. “How is the universe going to surprise and delight me through this very uncomfortable situation that I am experiencing right now?” or “How is the universe going to surprise and delight me today?” The beauty of these questions is that they get right into the unconscious mind and sit there. Simmering like steak and potatoes in a slow cooker. Getting the unconscious all loosened up and juicy, the unconscious actually stews in the juices of these delectable questions.
The effect? The unconscious is invited to explore what good can come from a situation. In asking these questions and questions like these, we are moving away from the very human nature of catastrophizing our human experience. We are shifting consciousness into a space of possibility, hope and joy. It is to invite a universe that exists to surprise and delight.
To to embrace the mindset that the universe exists to surprise and delight me is to exist in a universe of limitless possibility. A universe of joy, play and imagination. A universe that makes it very easy to ask another powerful and life changing question… “If I had infinite energy, what would I do next?”
Why is this a powerful and lifechanging question.. I am glad you asked. The answer is often simple, while the application may be slightly more complex. Distilled down, we ask the question. The question drops into the unconscious mind. The unconscious brings an answer to the surface. I discovered the game while I was driving, and the answer that came was “If I had infinte energy right now, the next thing I would do is wash my windows.”
Now I live in a neighborhood where we are blessed with beautiful, tree lined streets. It’s gorgeous, and in summer, it covered my car in sap. So I was angrily in the process of not washing my windows. Until I played this simple game. I went and washed my windows. I continued to play the game throughout the evening and into the next morning. It was fun, and it was exciting.
Now I know what your thinking, what if the thing I want to do next is buy a private jet. I get it, your intelligent. Maybe you don’t fully understand the game, and maybe you are using your intelligence to fuck with the game. Either way, let me explain the rules. The rules are imbedded in the question. The premise is contained in these two parts “right now” and “next”. For example, the answer “Summit Everest” only makes sense if you are already prepared to make a push for the summit. The question assumes all of the circumstances that surround you, and the resources that are already on hand. Expect the answers to be mundane.
What was the effect of washing my windows? My unconscious begins to be programmed towards accessing the infinite source of energy that surrounds me at all times. And how does that happen? When we aske the unconscious, “If I had infinite energy right now, what would I do next?” The universe answers with, wash the car windows. When the windows are washed, the unconscious is furnished with proof that it does have access to infinite energy. The more the game is played, the more the premise becomes true. In other words, coming from a home that played finite, catastrophizing games has proved advantageous. For it is out of the ashes of my old life that this new, and infinite life has been reborn.
